Remember these awful things? There were literally thousands of these over-priced, unplayable poopies. I remember two of these games specifically.
$40 worth of crap
This one I remember my dad buying for me in an airport for $40. Even as a kid I knew it was way too expensive for what I was getting. But I was a hyperactive kid and if $40 was the cost of my in-flight silence, it was probably worth it.
Thwick ah Thweet
This one I got as a "brave boy" gift - let me explain. I had a lisp as a kid - you know that little muscle thing under your tongue? Mine was too thick and they had to "shave it". It was terrifying - two giant Novocaine needles under the tongue at age 8. For going through with it though, I was rewarded with this dual-screened wonder, out of which I actually got a lot of use.
During the two week healing process, my lisp was 10 times as bad. Halloween happened to fall 5 days after the surgery which forced me to churn out an awkward "Thwick ah Thweet" at each house. I got a lot more candy that year - probably because everyone thought I was retarded.
And now there's a website that lets you play all these classic, boring, frustrating experiences for free! You can relive your own boring, frustrating, Novocaine-induced memories over at PicaPic.com
Hey. I just found this little history of Arkham on Gametrailers. It goes into the backstory of the hallowed asylum from the perspective of the comics, on which this game is based.
Really well done and thoroughly researched. Enjoy.
I've put in about four hours so far and can already tell that this will be one of the best games I play throughout this whole project.
Going into it with absolutely no expectations has given me a few pleasant surprises.
First, the story. Joker has been captured on purpose so he can release all the inmates in Arkham and take complete control of the institution. This sets a fantastic context for the way the rest of the game plays out - for example - you'll find yourself with many blocked passageways and dead ends - a video game design device to make an area appear to be bigger than it actually is. To give this mechanic more of a reason to be - Joker tells you at the beginning - "You're not going anywhere I don't want you to go." Because of this you feel like you're being completely manipulated for the first couple hours of the game. Very cool.
Master Manipulator
What I didn't expect was the horror elements that the developers included. You are reminded VERY early on that Arkham is a legitimate prison for psychotic maniacs. There have already been a few poop-your-pants moments with run-ins with the Joker and Scarecrow. The scariness adds so much to the game in the sense of atmosphere.
George Cloony Batman this is not. This is Dark Knight and Batman Begins rolled up together and then mixed with Silence of the Lambs.
This is an interesting piece in my collection. It was lent to me by a friend, but since I lost a couple games my recent move, I figured I could plug the holes with borrowed games to make it fair.
I literally know nothing about this game. I've heard fantastic things about it, but haven't played it for a single second. Hopefully it's better than Batman: Dark Tomorrow - literally the worst game I've ever played. Worse than Donkey Kong Country. May I?
Not this.
I used to work at GameStop which, as you may know, thrives on their trade-in business. Customers who came with trades were often disappointed to find out that their games are essentially worthless with our insultingly low trade-in values. This would result in one of two things:
1) They would just leave their bag of crappy games with us and say, "I was gonna throw em out anyway" or
2) I would offer them a cash deal out of my own pocket. "Under the table". Totally against the rules but a fairly common practice amongst employees. Try it next time you're in a GameStop.
Anyway, one time a dude came in with a bag of about ten games that netted him maybe $2.50 in store credit. Insulted, he handed me the bag and said, "fine, then you throw em out!" and stormed out of the store. The bag was divvied up amongst the employees and I got Batman: Dark Tomorrow.
I was having a bunch of friends over that night and we all tried it out together. From what I remember there isn't even a start screen. There is a 3 second cut scene of bad guys mugging some woman, then it cuts to Batman in a completely different area. You run to the end of an alley, then you're on the rooftops. You have to use your Batcable to swing from roof to roof. This is the end of the game - literally we spent about two hours trying to get to the end of this sequence and it was impossible. The game was broken 2 minutes in.
Conversely, Arkham Asylum has been touted as "The Only Good Batman Video Game Ever". If it has more than two minutes of gameplay, it will have succeeded.
Bit.Trip Beat carries a lot of "firsts". It was the first game in the now six game Bit.Trip Series; it was one of the first games worth buying on the WiiWare platform; and it is inspired by the first mainstream video game ever - Pong. But should it be first on your list of games to buy?
Gameplay Bit.Trip Beat relies very heavily on the Pong model. You control a rectangular paddle on the left side of the screen. But instead of facing off against another paddle, you are tasked with returning multiple "beats" (Bit.Trip's version of the ball in Pong). The beats come at you at various speeds, angles and sizes. Some travel in a straight path, while others move in a sin wave, while still others bounce off your paddle and return back in an arc. The hook here is that each beat creates a note when struck. So the beats come in on a beat and add to the background music - making you an active participant in creating the game's music.
Sin Wave Formation
Controlling the game is simple, yet its something that cannot be done effectively with a traditional controller. This game was first released on the Wii as a downloadable title, tasking players with holding the remote sideways and rotating it toward and away from the player. This essentially recreated the analog control of the old Atari paddle - or "wheel" controller. The game is also available for iOS devices (iPad, iPhone etc) and Mac and PC, using the touch screen and trackpad or mouse for control, respectively. All the control methods work well, and all have their own issues.
Playing on the Wii would sometimes give you the "jerky" movement players sometimes experience with the Wii Remote. Playing on an iOS device gives you more prescise control, but suffers from your giant mitts blocking the screen. You can slide your finger anywhere on the device, but no matter where you do it, you're blocking your view of something. I haven't played on the PC or Mac but can imagine that using a mouse is precise as well, but you are limited by your mousepad or physical space to move your mouse around in. Between the iPad and Wii versions, I felt more comfortable using the iPad, even with the blocking of the screen.
To explain the rest of the gameplay, I really need the help of a video.
This is the first level of the game. As you can see, the paddle on the left is returning the beats coming in from the right. You'll notice two bars on the screen - the one at the top labeled "MEGA" and the one on the bottom labeled "NETHER". As the player returns the beats, the MEGA bar begins to fill. Once its filled you go into MEGA MODE. Here, the music becomes fuller, the graphics become more intense, and you have an opportunity for point multipliers.
The NETHER bar is filled by missing beats. Miss enough and you'll drop into the Nether world. Here you are depleted of any and all sound effects and music, and the game becomes a black and white Pong game. If you fill the NETHER bar while you're in the Nether world, its game over.
None of this is really explained to you and you are basically left to figure it out on your own. These extra mechanics didn't come to me immediately, but it was kinda fun to figure it out along the way "Oh, that does that! OK!"
Presentation For a game that does everything to convince you of it's retro-ocity, the presentation is where that would be achieved. Bit.Trip Beat features blocky, Atari-style graphics and music, but with a sprinkling of the modern. Things move much more quickly than they ever could on a 2600, the colors and seizure-inducing patterned lightshows are definitely a mark of it's current-gen nature, The only thing that detracts, visually, is the fact that the background animations often cloud your vision, making the beats difficult to see. These instances are certainly more prevalent in the later levels, but its certainly a notable frustration.
The music is from the same ilk. It's as if someone took a soundtrack from the Atari era and remixed it with beaty beats and flippity flups. The real treat is getting into MEGA mode and hearing the music as it is intended to be heard. My initial reaction to that design mechanic was "but I'm missing out on all the good music!" to which I replied to myself "maybe if you were better at the game, you'd hear it more, stupid!"
Stuff I Loved:
Retro-Modern graphics and music
Classic Gameplay
A serious challenge at points
Stuff I Hated
A little short (probably spent five or so hours with this overall)
Distracting background graphics
Various control issues across all platforms
All in all, I would recommend you check this out in one form or another. I think your best value is on the iOS App Store at just a buck. It's $6 on the Wii and I think $10 on Steam for Mac and PC. Either way, you should own some sort of device to play it on, and I would recommend you shove this game into that device's hard drive.
Blam.
Review In Ten Words or Less:
A "TRIP" down retro lane that fully satisfies.
Wow. Holy crap. One sitting, an hour and a half and I'm done with this thing.
I own this as a WiiWare game, but it's the exact same thing on the iPad and as a bonus I could play without getting out of bed.
As happy as I am to cross another game off, I'm gonna spend a little more time with it cuz I kinda scraped by the last few levels and feel like I didn't get the full enjoyment out of it. I'll play it for a week then post a review.
