The Angriest I've Ever Been at a Video Game

I'm not an angry guy. I very rarely get mad about anything, but, as most mild mannered gamers know, there's a special rage switch in our brains that's only activated by video games. Now I've been frustrated by cheap deaths, poor game design, and losing over and over in Smash Bros, but nothing was like the rage inside me the night I lost my Metroid Prime save file.

In my senior year of college, I decided it was time for a Gamecube. The entire purchase ticket consisted of the following:

Black Gamecube
Extra controller (Used)
Metroid Prime
Mad Catz Memory Card

I figured I just spent about $250, why not save a few bucks on a cheap, third party memory card? It's just the same as the official one right? Right?

Once I got home, I lost myself in the world of Metroid Prime - dedicating hour upon hour to finding every upgrade to my Chozo suit, tirelessly searching for and reading the history logs, and refusing to quit in the face of tough bosses. But it wasn't long before I regretted cheaping out on the memory card.  I came home from class one day, excited to progress a little further in my quest, only to be met with a "Corrupt Save File" message on the load screen. I had to start over.

Damn it. 

"Oh well," I said, "I was only a few hours in, and I'm sure I missed some things. No big deal."

So I replayed those opening moments of the game again, and I did find new things and collected upgrades that I had missed the first time around. "It was worth it," I convinced myself. "Now when I get to the final boss, I'll be better equipped!"

I continued to play day after day, joyfully exploring new worlds - acquiring the Ice Beam was one of the most memorable and enjoyable experiences I had yet had as a gamer. But that fateful, cheapskate decision was not done with its role in my fate. Much like the first time, I came home after a particularly cold day of classes. The winter break was just around the corner, and Senioritis has definitely taken up residence in my psyche. I booted up my Cube and was greeted with the amazingly energizing Metroid Prime menu screen, and then...

"Corrupt Save File"

SH*T!

This wasn't a shrug-it-off situation this time. This time I was pissed and decided to quit. I put the game away and moved on to Smash Bros, not sure if I would ever return to the world of the Chozo. Winter break came and went, I got new games for Christmas that I played to death, but a few months later as Spring began to bloom, so did my hopes of seeing the end of Metroid Prime.  I dug it out of the last place I threw it as hard as I could, booted it up, and blazed through the beginning stages - which I had basically memorized at this point. The momentum I had gained carried me through the second half of the game and before I knew it, I was in the final level- the Impact Crater.



I was battling my way through the game's toughest enemies while jumping from narrow platform to narrow platform. I had a really hard time with this section and soon got frustrated enough to rage quit mid-game. I shut off the Gamecube, the TV and even the lights in my room, and just sat in silence for a bit. I just needed a few minutes to clear my head and calm down, then I knew I could beat it. I would just turn it on, load up the save file...


Oh no.

No, It wouldn't. Not this far into the game. God isn't that spiteful...

I took a deep breath and hesitantly pressed the power button. I was greeted with the cheerful Gamecube startup jingle, the badass menu screen...come on...come on...


"Corrupt Save File"

FUUUUUUU*******K!!!!!

I was on a rampage. I literally lost my mind - I could feel my entire body tingling as I hit and threw anything I could get my hands on and cursed a stream of obscenities that would make the devil blush. My roommate who was somewhat concerned, but mostly entertained by what was happening tried to get me to explain myself. I imagine it was like trying to get a hysterically crying child to explain why they were crying. I finally calmed down enough to get enough actual words out of my mouth to  explain the situation, but then I just got mad all over again and punched the banister on our staircase, resulting in a nice swollen rack of knuckles. To cap it all off, as I turned away, my good old roommate punched me in the butt. The old butt punch. I didn't even react, because I honestly barely felt it next to the anger brought on from my now THIRD lost saved game. It was too much for one college-aged dumbass human to handle.

I traded in the game the next day for a menial amount of store credit, decidedly done with the saga of the rogue memory card and Samus Aran's attempt to eradicate the Metroid race.

A few years later, a non-Metroid-fan friend of mine bought the Metroid Prime Gamecube Bundle, and gave me the included game. I finally ended up beating it and Retro Studio's first Prime game continues to be one of my favorites to this day.

The ironic thing is that never - not once - did I ever consider investing the $30 in an actual, real life memory card. In fact, this is the same memory card that caused the corrupt file in my attempt to play through Beyond Good and Evil. Yup. I still have it. And it's still actively ruining my life.