Almost Done...Skyward Sword

Since my last post, my love/hate relationship with this game has grown exponentially.

I went through two of the best dungeons in Zelda history, and had gone completely obsesso-tron in collecting heart pieces. Within a few hours I went from despising every fiber of this game to finally seeing why people were calling this the best Zelda ever. It's not. Let's be clear on that. But for a good ten hours, I was really, really enjoying it. 

Then I was hit with an escort mission. Not just any escort mission, but possibly the worst one ever made. Seriously. Ever. And it was surrounded by the most tedious fetch quest in the game so far.

I guess the following contains really minor spoilers - nothing story related, but if you want to go in fresh, please skip ahead...

[SPOILERS]

Later on in the game, you are given access to another temple within the Volcano area. This temple is at the very top of the volcano. To get in, you have to drop a huge amount of water into this frog statue's mouth, and you need a huge basin of water to do it.

After you figure out exactly what you have to do, a robot will come and grab it for you. This is a robot that's been used before in other "go find this specific thing" missions, and he'll usually put the item down right where you need it. But in this case, you are forced to start at the base of the volcano and work your way back to the top while guarding this little guy.

THIS piece of SH** is the WORST robot EVER MADE!

Here's why it's an awful escort mission:

1) The robot is extremely weak. If he's hit two times by any of the dozens of archers scattered around, you have to restart.
2) He's slow. You can't run or he'll get lost. Then you have to go back and find him.
3) He complains. The entire time. If you get lost, he'll say "where did you go?! I'm lost!" When you find him he says "It's about time, slowpoke" If he sees monsters he says "What are gonna do about those monsters?"
4) He can't use any shortcuts. If you try to use one of the many airlifts around the level, he'll say "I can't use that! We'll have to go around!"

And then when you FINALLY get to where you're going, you're so pissed off you can't enjoy the temple.

[SPOILERS]

On the upside, I just got to a point where the story went into high gear - really exciting, canon expanding stuff.

Nintendo recently released an official Zelda timeline, here's my timeline for my enjoyment of the game:


Bored -- Angry -- Bored -- Angry -- Excited -- In Love! -- Intrigued -- FURIOUS -- Exctied

Basically, this:

The Escapist : Zero Punctuation : The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

Halfway There: Skyward Sword

At this point - halfway through the experience - I cannot recommend this game to anyone. Zelda fan or not.

My main problem is the banality of almost everything you're tasked with doing. So without spoiling anything, I'm currently on the hunt for three sacred flames, each hidden within various temples. This I'm fine with - every Zelda game ever has you searching for nic nacs and bink bonks through various lands and temples. My problem is this:

"Hello, person/creature who has the information/key I need to get into the next temple. Would you please let me in?"
"Absolutely, Link. But first, I need you to collect 15 of these random objects scattered throughout this area."
"S-Seriously? You can't just let me in? I mean the door's right there. I mean it would take you less than five sec..."
"FIFTEEN OBJECTS!"

"Sure, I could tell you how to get there. But wouldn't you rather go hunting for meaningless items?"

At one point I had to completely retread the ENTIRE first temple just to get a bottle filled with water for that stupid lady pictured above.

"But there's water everywhere. Why not just get water from the lake next to the person asking for it?" You ask.

Because I need this stupid GD special water that only exists in a specific pixel of an area at the VERY END of the first temple.

Boy, do I feel satisfied with this achievement. A bottle of water. Don't get better than that.

I don't mind revisiting old places to obtain bonuses and powerups. That's a conscious decision I've made to enhance my characters abilities with the sacrifice of going back through areas I've already seen. But when I'm forced to do the same thing twice for something so trivial as a bottle of water, I get a little more than furious.

There are moments of brilliance, don't get me wrong. Little glimmers of what this game could have been poke their heads out about once an hour. The last few temples I've been through have been really interesting - but the overall feeling I'm getting is that each piece was developed exclusive of everything else. If they had simply made the game in a seamless world, and stripped out all the backtracking the game would sing like none other. But they didn't - and I'm left pushing myself to finish the brussel sprouts so I can have the ice cream.

Still Playing: Skyward Sword

I've been pretty bored so far. Nothing feels organic - it feels like Zelda by the numbers. So you have the Sky world and the surface world, but nothing is connected. You travel to the different areas of the surface via the sky, so essentially the sky serves as a overblown warp station. Gone is the sense of mystery of seeing  something like Death Mountain in the distance and then traversing over hill and dale to get there, anticipation building with each step.

Oh man! What's IN there?

That's not to say that the game is bad. All the elements of a masterpiece are here - startlingly accurate 1:1 swordplay, excellent (if derivative) puzzles, unique areas and bosses - it's just that nothing is coming together for me yet. The sky feels emptier than the sea in Wind Waker, the areas leading up to the dungeons are a parade of monotonous fetch quests, and Fi, your guide through the game, is about as exciting as Dodongo doo doo. Her dialogue is very "Artificial Intelligence" with percentages and ratios making up the most of what she says. Coming from Twilight Princess' sassy and rebellious Midna, Fi feels like a glorified information ATM.

I'd rather hear, "HEY! LISTEN!"

Strangely, I'm compelled to keep playing. Maybe because I know (read: hope) it will get ridiculously better, I actually just got to an area that's got a really cool time shift mechanic which I'm really excited to see what they do with - and so far no fetch quests!

See? It's already getting better.

Up Next: The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

Santa got my letter! Skyward Sword was under our tree Christmas morning along with a 3DS and Super Mario 3D land. I also picked up Rayman Origins with a gift card from my parents. Yes, I'm adding to the backlog...but I'm promising myself to be more responsible and finish every game I start. Plus, I probably won't get any new games until next Christmas.

Anyway - Skyward Sword.

I've been a fan of the Zelda games ever since the NES days. Cutting my teeth on the strangely beautiful Zelda II (review), I have been enchanted by the world of Hyrule for the majority of my life. A new Zelda release is a call for celebration. It's a call for jubilant excitement at the new possibilities of puzzle solving and story telling; for unparalleled gameplay and mechanics...the core Zelda games never disappoint. But so far, I'm kinda disappointed.

Bird flying...kinda boring.

The game starts with about a two hour setup. Basically, you're introduced to the characters and the world of Skyloft. You get a feel for everyone's place in the society and how you as a young knight cadet fit into the big picture. And while I will consent that this is a hugely important aspect which has been slightly overlooked in previous Zelda games, it drags on for what feels like an eternity. You are sent on no less than three fetch quests before you can even begin the game proper.

Once I finally made it under the clouds and to the "surface" - Skyward Sword's name for the underworld - I began to see what makes this is a game of the year contender. The WiiMotionPlus aspects of the swordplay are really neat - making every fight a puzzle in itself. I made it through the first dungeon with relative difficulty, actually. I died quite a few times and found myself scratching my head at a few puzzles. Gotta give Nintendo respect for providing a decent challenge right from the outset. The boss in the first dungeon was a beast, too! You fight who I'm assuming is the main villain/final boss character and it took me a good five tries to finally beat him - giving it a real feeling of completion and satisfaction once I did finally take him down.

This guy.

The music is fantastic - Nintendo finally came into the 21st Century and scored this game with a full orchestra, rather than using Midi music. It gives the game a much more epic feel, however the increase in audio fidelity is not matched with a bump in the visuals. They obviously did the best they were able to do with the hardware, but a major console release in 2011 (now 2012) that's not in HD is really starting to look dated.

I'm about six hours in to what I've heard is about a fifty hour experience. Wish me luck!